God's Provision

I had a moment today.  It was one of those that comes out of no where, but you know you can't stop it.  I had picked up my daughter from preschool and for whatever reason, the cares of this world just came up and choked me.  I began to cry.  I couldn't help it.  I typically take a head in the sand approach to matters such as this.  I justify my approach spiritually using Matt 6:25-34.  Bert and I try to be responsible with the resources given to us.  We live frugal lives.  And at the end of each month we have somehow fed our children and paid our bills, and I praise God.  I'm not just saying that...I praise God each and every month when we get to the end and I know once again, God has gotten us through!  But despite God's history of faithfulness to us, today, I broke down and cried...in front of my daughter...which I hate. (Entering third trimester pregnancy may have something to do with this!)

Well, we got home and I began to remember all that I've been reading in 2 Chronicles lately about Solomon building the temple of the Lord.  I gave myself a little sermonette.   God was faithful to provide all that was needed to build His temple, and now I am the temple of God, I am His dwelling place on earth, and therefore He will take care of me. 

Then, God interrupted my sermonette to give me His thoughts.  He reminded me that even before Solomon built a temple for God, God build a house for David.  God, the great and kind father reminded me that He took care of His children first...like any good parent would do!  What a very sweet and kind God we have!!  He is faithful and good.  He doesn't just tell us to look after the interests of others...He asks us to imitate Him as He looks after the interest of others.  And we are so richly blessed to be those others of whose interests He takes on as His own!

As I was pondering all of this I realized how much like David I am.  I want to do something for God.  I want to change my circumstances.  As if depending on Him is such a burden and I don't want to wear out my holy welcome.  But God doesn't see it that way at all.  Rather He teaches us to depend on Him completely before He ever allows us to do anything 'for' Him.  Lord help me to learn faithfully and submissively.  Thank you for being such a good and kind God.  The kind of parent I hope to be for my children.

Psalms from a woman's heart - Psalm 91

He who dwells in the shelter of the most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
If my house is a home built by God, only then will I be able to rest in my home.  His presence is required for my peace.
I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence.  
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge;
I can get out of my covers, out from under my down alternative comforter (no feathers in my home!), because God will be my cover, my comforter throughout the day.  There is no need to hide in my bed...or my closet...or the bathroom...
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.  
You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,
I will not fear the exhaused days caused by night terrors...or bedwetting...or midnight feedings, or...
Nor will I fear my little arrows (Psalms 127) who fly through my house during the day bringing destruction in their path.
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness.
I will not fear the hidden messes that lie beneath my children's beds...or mine.  Or the dust bunnies that collect in the corners of the laundry room, or the storage closet that is dangerous to open.  These things will not bother me, because my house is a home that God is making.
nor the plague that destroys at midday. 
Nor the mayhem that ensues when errands run long and lunch is running late.
A thousand  may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. 
Though fits are thrown and children lie wailing, thrashing and screaming on the floor at either side, it will not cause me to do the same.
You will only observe with our eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.  
I can watch in peace as my children pitch their fits when they don't get their way, knowing that good lessons are being learned.
If you make the Most High your dwelling - even the Lord, who is my refuge - 
I can only do these things if I make the Most High my refuge, my comforter and my protection.  What would normally cause me to seek refuge in my dark bedroom under my comforter, I can face because He is my protection, He is covering me all day long.
then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.  
The Lord will protect me and my children as I seek to raise them.  He will guide me as I often fail.  Despite my failures, I can hope for more than just the bruised heel of the fall.
You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
I can believe that all the plans of the evil one for my children will be thwarted. 
"Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
I can believe this seemingly audacious truth because no matter if I fail - God will redeem them.  They will be saved and redeemed and it will be from something.  And yes, it's possible that my failures may be a part of that.  I can not protect them completely - they will have something in their lives that will require God's redemption.  I must teach them to know what name to call on when that day comes, and they know for themselves their need for a savior. 
He will call upon me, and I will answer him;  I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.
I must trust God with the rest.  Only show them the name to call on...and trust God with the rest.
With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."

My prayer tonight

As I was praying for jj tonight before bed I started going into a phrase I pray often. "Lord let them see Jesus in me!" I stopped and it occurred to me (as if the Holy Spirit were in my head or something) to change my prayer. I began to pray that my children would see Jesus changing me. I want them to know that God has the power to heal and to make new. And after a day of feeling like I absolutely did not resemble Jesus at all, it seemed like the more realistic prayer. Lord change me and let my children see it.

Wake up church!

There are very few times I will post on a political issue. However, the Obamacare issue has become so big I can't ignore it. The state of our healthcare programs is unreal. But I think that our Christian response must be to WAKE UP! If the church were doing it's job: taking care of the orphans and widows (those who can't take care of themselves) we wouldn't be in this situation.  I feel so strongly about this because the church has what it takes to make a difference in people's lives, the government doesn't. The church can offer truly changed lives!  The government doesn't have the power for that.  They can offer a bandaid, but we have the HEALER!  I'm concerned not because the government is taking our individual freedoms (this scares me too) but because it is taking the place of the church.  I'm afraid we may be too late now.  Now, the care of the orphan and widow will be regulated.  Church, WAKE UP! What else are we missing?

A sad lesson

Life isn't fair.  We've all heard it many times.  Our first exposure to it was probably from our mothers.  I know mine was.  It sounded to the ears of a little one as an excuse for an unjust punishment.  But it wasn't, nor is it now.  It's just a truth.  Life isn't fair.  Today, life was taken from my friend Jay Williams.  For no good reason.  He fell.  It could happen to anyone.  Why him?  No one has the answers.  Life just isn't fair. 
I've been thinking all day about the day that the time comes when I have to tell my children this phrase.  I realized today how much it will hurt to look in my sweet baby's eyes (they will always be my babies) and tell them that life isn't fair.  It's not an excuse, and it's not a reason.  It's just a truth.  Life isn't fair.  And today I'm so very sad about it.

Scriptural insight for the weekend (maybe for women only!)

So in the old testament there is a law that anyone who touches a woman who is menstruating is unclean for the rest of the day. Sounds pretty harsh, right. Menstruation is gross, but still, for someone to be religiously unclean and cut off from the community just for touching my shoulder?  Really??
My thoughts today are much different. I think God knew what he was doing (imagine that!)  I think God was putting a system in place to PROTECT women from society, and to protect society FROM women during this troublesome time.  (I might cut off someone's hand if they pat my shoulder sometimes!  Much better that God threatens them with a good warning.)  We serve a very good and very kind God!  Unfortunately, modern feminism has made the standard such that our monthly cycle should 'not interrupt our daily life'.  Women, we had one excuse to escape, and we've surrendered it!  These women had the religious right to sit in a dark room and not talk to anyone!!!!  How blessed that sounds right now.  But alas, I was not born into that generation, so God gave me the best gift He possibly could have for this generation...my husband!  Bert allowed me to go back to bed at 10 am this morning while he took our daughter grocery shopping and our son slept.  (And thank you Jesus, JJ slept for 2 hours!!)  Thank you kind Father for all the incredible gifts you give us!  Help us to see all you give us not as restrictions, but the freedoms they are!  I love you!

Psalms from a woman's heart - Psalm 93:3-5

The floods have lifted up, O Lord,
My anxiety arises and threatens to drown me, O Lord,
The floods have lifted up their voice;
The laundry/unfinished nursery/housework, take your pick, they are all crying out;
The floods lift up their waves.
All that needs to be done is about to overtake me.
The Lord on high is mightier than the noise of many waters,
than all the worries on my mind,
than the mighty waves of the sea.
they will not overtake me.
Your testimonies are very sure;
You have promised to be with me in everything.  You have proven yourself to me time and time again.  I know I can trust you to be with me even now.
Holiness adorns your house,
As you are with me, in my house, make it holy - set apart - for you.  Bring peace in it, even when it seems like a stable.  I know you can dwell - even there. 
Oh Lord, forever.